But if I have a totem animal, it is the wolf. What I feel for the wolf is greater than just affection or admiration - it's a connection, something that feels like it's out of a true dream, a sense that there is An Understanding. I look into those yellow eyes, even just in photographs, and something moves in me. I remember one time, I was in Banff, it was mid-winter and there was snow up the wazoo and it was FREEZING and it was early evening and the temperatures were dropping even faster - hardly the circumstances to linger - when I noticed a man, a boy, and a German Shepherd pup out for a walk. I asked if I could say hi to the dog, and the man assented, so I crouched down and called to it - and it lolloped over, all paws, and then lifted its head and *looked* at me. Through me. With eyes that glowed gold in the night.
I said, "What kind of dog *is* this?"
The man shrugged and said, "Let's put it this way. His momma ran away into the woods... and came back pregnant."
I stood there for a long time, after, my eyes on them as they walked away - the man, the boy, and the son of the wolf.
I'll never forget those eyes.
Now I've discvoered this place:
http://www.wolfmountain.com/index.htm
and I WANT. I was even looking into driving up from Anaheim in conjunction with WOrldcon - but the place is too damn far away for a day trip which leaves any time to spend with the wolves, and I don't have time for a longer trip, not then.
So I'll simply have to plan on visiting Wolf Mountain another time, and make a special trip if I need to. I've swum with dolphins; now I want to kiss a wolf.