* first six months FREE!
* $19.95 per month for the first six months!
* $100 (including full installation) for the first six months - all inclusive!
...Look, maybe I'm looking a gift horse in the mouth and all that, but what I want to know is, given that you *want a contract that's LONGER than those proverbial six months* - HOW MUCH IS IT GOING TO COST ME AFTER THIS PRETTY HONEYMOON IS OVER? If I pay 20 bucks a month for the first six months and then get a bill for $65 for month 7 and thereafter it suddenly doesn't seem to be much of an advantage for me. And there is NEVER any information on this on the promo pages. If it is there at all it's usually in small print somewhere on the third click in, buried deeply enough so that nobody will go looking for it and those who do will probably give up before they get there.
Well, not me.
Give me the full picture or get the hell away from me, you sirens, and go warble your seductive little luring ditties into some other receptive shell-like ear. I don't like being treated like an idiot child. I'm going to be the one paying the bill you nuts whether it's $20 or $80 - and I want to know how much I can expect to be paying once you have stopped playing your games.
Give me broadband for $20 a month, permanently, not just for six months (and heyyyy, look, you've DONE it for six months, might that mean that it's, yanno, DOABLE on a regular basis...?) and I'll definitely give switching to your service some serious thought. Dangle me a carrot in the dark, though, and I'm not biting. Promo without substance doesn't buy this consumer. Go crawl back into the capitalist bogs you came crawling out of - some part of me knows you smell profit FOR YOURSELF in here somewhere or else you would not be doing this, and it only means that I'll be squashed and screwed in the middle of your jostling for position if I am fool enough to get involved.
Shoo. Give me value for money or leave me alone. Dressing up a pig as the Gloriana, though, doesn't fool me - and it also insults the Queen and embarrasses the pig.
SIck, and crankier than usual, perhaps.
Scuse me while I swig another cup of tea on the road back to being halfway normal.