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Monster Movie Night!

Jin Shei Cover from sgreer
So, Godzilla.

POSSIBLE spooilers ahead, but hey, it's a monster movie, yuu kind of know how this goes, don't you? Either way, you've been warned.

In so many ways, exactly what I expected but with CGI. But nonetheless, a hugely entertaining couple of hours.

Yeah, I was rooting for the monster. Hey, he had a bad deal of it all around, did poor old Godzilla (and you know, for something that's been around for so long and taken so much punishment, he looks rather good, actually...) First we woke him up. Then we tried to fry him with nukes. Then, with all of that, comes the cherry on top with the Momma and Poppa New Monster On The Block turning up to lay waste to our planet and - er - breed (was that a moment of AFFECTION there, in the middle of ruined San Francisco, when the pair rubbed noses...?) And the human response? Oh, the usual "let's throw nukes at it!" kneejerk reaction, or the philosophical Japanese "Let them fight..."

Let's face it, humans are idiots, okay? Always were. In every one of these movies. And the guiding rule seems to be that the more authority any given human has the more of an idiot he is and la la la la la we won't listen to anyone else who thinks that what you might be doing is a not so good idea. And the reasons it's not so good an idea this time? Hey, did you miss the part where these new monsters EAT RADIATION? They, you know, FEED on it? Yeah, no, let's just throw a nuclear bomb at them. Chock full of said radiaion. No way that could go wrong. Also, humans (who DON'T feed on radiation) are kind of at ground zero here. If in fact that flash in the movie was the nuke going off then they don't have to bother scraping together the survivors of the monster fight in downtodn SF - because they'll all be kind of dead of radiation poisoning in relatively short order. So will a large swathe of the American west, actually. But eh. You know. Throw a nuke at the problem. WHy not.

The new monsters? Despite the "rubbing noses" moment, it's really hard to see them as anything other than pure malevolence. First off, they look like a mish mash of a bat, a spider, an angry wasp, and the creature from "Alien" - what's to love...? (And thesight of those egg sacs - thousands of them - just waiting to hatch... shudder. yeah.) But who knew GOdzilla was our knight in shining armor, then? You were rooting for the poor idiot. First of all there were TWO of THEM (and one of them is a mean momma protecting her nest, no less...) and only one of poor Godzilla no matter how bad-ass he is. And then - well, admittedly he does wreck the Golden Gate Bridge (but that had to happen, didn't you know? It's a given. THe bridge dies in a West Coast mosnter movie; if we had been in New York Lady Liberty would have copped it. It's the price of being an American icon, let's face it) but still he's supposedly on OUR SIDE and he's trying to get rid of the bat/spider/angrywasp things, so WHY ARE WE STILL SHOOTING AT HIM?!? Poor sod. Well at least they knew enough to cheer him when he stomps off back into the ocean after it's all done, despite the wreck of downtown San Fran that he leaves behind. (and um what happened to the othe rmonsters? Did Godzillakins eat them? I don't know if I saw him chow down, I think I just saw him rip Momma Monster's head off at some point. I hope he ate them. I hope he at least got a good meal. there can't be much out there for that beast to EAT. Maybe that's why there are so few blue whales left.)

So. Spent a couple of hours in the cinema rooting for a CGI monster.

Sometimes a girl has to take her fun where she can find it.

Go Godzilla. I think I rather like you, all other things being equal. Is there a place behind your ugly-mug ears that you like being scratched...? Let me know, if I ever run into you. I'd love to oblige.

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( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
seawasp
May. 24th, 2014 02:31 am (UTC)
Actually, they addressed the "but they eat radiation" bit quite directly: "They may eat radiation, but the*blast effect* is something very different -- and this bomb is a hundred times more powerful than the ones we used before."

And, no, not a large swath of the American West. We detonated *HUNDREDS* of nukes in the American West and most of it wasn't affected noticeably. One nuke, even a twenty-megaton big boy, isn't going to kill off everyone in the city, let alone outside of it.

He eats radiation. Probably mostly eats deep ores.
anghara
May. 24th, 2014 05:33 am (UTC)
Still. Blast effect kind of wipes SF too.

and those "hundreds" we detonated are the "little" ones, the ones that guy in tehmovie referred to as "firecrackers" compared to the modern bombs.

and at some point or three Godzilla is directly referred to as "alpha predator" and has the damn jaws to match that reputation. Forgive me if I don't quite see that animal lying down for a nice meal of gamma rays...
seawasp
May. 24th, 2014 01:24 pm (UTC)
The Admiral didn't have many choices here -- in fact, it boiled down to two:

1) Trust that some gargantuan monster, over which he has no direction or control, will kill off the two MUTOs for him, and then will also leave without itself becoming a threat. Trust also that the battle against the two MUTOs will be less destructive than an offshore nuke.

2) Lure the MUTOs, and possibly Gojira, into a trap which will allow him to detonate -- miles offshore, mind you! -- a nuke right in their faces, where even their ability to eat radiation won't do them much good in the face of the temperatures of a core of a star and a concussion shockwave that's enough to shatter anything physical.

As leader of the military task force, he has a *responsibility* to do *everything in his power* to solve the problem. Both scenarios will have bad consequences for San Francisco, but one of them requires him to trust an unknown force to do the job with minimal damage. An evacuation is being carried out that will remove civilians from the city, so casualties will be limited to military personnel and the major consequences will be structural damage, and possibly fallout depending on which scenario he goes for and whether the radioactive monsters leave a lot of radiation when they die.

In point of fact, even if they were using the largest nuclear weapon *currently* in the US arsenal, the detonation would be 1.2 megatons. "miles offshore", which was their intended scenario, the blast will do minimal damage to the city. Their planned location looked to be about 10-15 miles offshore based on the map; in the movie Judging by the imagery in the movie, it was instead about 5 miles offshore.

A 1.2MT detonation at 5 miles will do a small swath of damage, mostly to residential and other weaker buildings. If the population had not been evacuated, there would be a small number of deaths and a large number (~50k) of injuries due to the blast. Radiation effects would be larger, but even the weaker fallout plume would barely reach across California even with a very bad prevailing wind -- in a narrow path. In total it would (mostly weakly) affect about 12% of California, and none of the other states. There would be a moderate-sized area that would be unlivable for some time -- but not terribly long.

Given what they showed in the movie, it probably had a moderately bad effect on areas slightly north and northwest of SanFran but the main city itself was virtually untouched by the blast. If they'd been able to get the bomb as far away as they wanted, effects would have been quite small overall -- certainly no worse than they got from the monsters duelling it out and possibly better in the long run.

Yeah, I suspect those jaws crush rock as well as flesh, though, to eat the high-radiation ores. We didn't see what happened to the MUTOs afterward; maybe they dragged the bodies out to sea and Goji eats them later?
anghara
May. 24th, 2014 06:10 pm (UTC)
The duelling monsters were an immediate catastrophe - they wreaked ruin but when they were done they were done.A nuke, on the other hand, is the gift that keeps on giving...
tropic_dm
May. 24th, 2014 03:43 am (UTC)
I thoroughly enjoyed the movie and quite frankly I preferred this Godzilla to the 1998 version with Matthew Broderick - it looked much more like the original Godzilla.

I'll definitely join you in the 'scratch behind the ears' movement.
anghara
May. 24th, 2014 05:34 am (UTC)
I kind of... thought he was cute... does that make me weird...? :)
tropic_dm
May. 24th, 2014 09:02 pm (UTC)
Not at all - I thought he was cute too.

Of course having Ken Watanabe there as well was definite human eye candy, although I kept imagining him in his samurai gear. He seemed a lot taller in Last Samurai ;)

You could see the sheer excitement in him - like a big kid getting to see a creature in real life he'd only dreamed of.
martianmooncrab
May. 24th, 2014 06:17 am (UTC)
ugly-mug ears that you like being scratched..

probably along the dorsal spines.. and if you rub in the right spots his tail wags..
anghara
May. 24th, 2014 06:09 pm (UTC)
Uh, if we're going to enter into tail wagging territory we'd better make sure this love fest happens outside major built up urban areas. Look at what happened to places like SF (and Honolulu too, up to a point, no?) when Godzilla "wagged his tail" in town...
martianmooncrab
May. 25th, 2014 03:41 am (UTC)
they are sooo cute when they knock down buildings in their excitement..
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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