anghara (anghara) wrote,
anghara
anghara

Christmas present wrapping with feline assistance, 2008 edition

Me: [takes out paraphernalia - roll of wrapping paper and assorted other wrapping paper, scissors, tape, pen, etc.]

Cats [coming running]: "OOOOH! ooooh1 something's going on! What's happening?"

Cat 1 sits in the middle of Assorted Other Wrapping Paper and gives me an interested stare: "You may continue."

Me: [Removes cat from wrapping paper, unfolds paper to cut to size, cat steps on paper, remove cat from paper, rinse and repeat several times. Paper finally cut]

Cat 2 [sticking his head under tape as I break off a piece to tape down the wrapping]: "OOOoooh. That looks like fun. HEY! You tried to take off my whiskers!!!"

Me: "So keep your whiskers out of the way of my tape!"

Cat 2 gives me injured look.

Remove Cat 1 from plastic bag housing a present. Extract present. Cat 1 returns to bag. I allow Cat 1's bottom to continue sticking out of said bag, tail twitching.

Cat1 {muffled]: "But it's empty. It wasn't empty just now. What happened to the stuff that was inside this? Oh well. Never mind. Empty bag. POUNCE!" [Cat 1 is now chasing empty bag across floor]

Me: [pick up another present, somewhat scented]

Cat 2: "What is it?" [sticks snout into package. Sneezes. Backs away.] 'You're GIVING that to someone? You're making someone take that?... You're MEAN!" [gives me injured look, stalks away to a couple of safe paces apart and then sits down again, supervising]

Cat 1: [chasing bag chasing bag chasing bag ducking head out of bag to look back at Cat 2]: "Did I miss something?"

Cat 2 comes and sits on wrapping paper again.

Remove cat.

Cat 1 leaves bag and knocks over a stack of books.

Pick up book to wrap.

Cat 1 bats at my hand. "But those were mine!"

Cat 2 [peering over my wrist]: "When are you wrapping up any of the INTERESTING stuff?"

Cat 1 [peering over my other wrist]: "Oh! Is that for ME?"

Remove cats from immediate vicinity so that I have room to, well, swing a cat. Attempt to cut some more wrapping paper, but as soon as I unroll an adequate amount Cat 1 comes and sits on it. Remove cat from wrapping paper. Cat 2 is batting at the half-open scissors. Remove cat's vulnerable paw pads from between scissor blades. Honestly, sometimes it's like living with a pair of two-year-olds.

Try to tape down wrapping paper over awkwardly-shaped present.

Cat 1 [sticking snout into affair]: "Can I be of assistance?"

Cat 2 [from behind me, inquisitive mrrorowr]: "Is that for me?"

Remove cat from top of wrapped present to stick on a gift label. Cat looks affronted.

Roll of wrapping paper gets finished. Cat 1 bunny-bats it with back feet, wrestling with it. Cat 2 pounces from behind the armchair in a sneak attack. I use the opportunity to gather up debris and take it away.

Cats stop activity and look at me mournfully.

Cat 1: "You DONE already?"

Cat 2: "But we were just starting to have fun...

Me [sigh]: "More tomorrow."

Cat [losing interest]: "Ooooh! Look! Squirrel! Kill!"

So much for peace on earth.

More later.
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